Tending Desperate Hearts
John 21:1–19
After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, you have no fish, have you?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, only about a hundred yards off. When they had gone ashore, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred fifty-three of them; and though there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared to ask him, “Who are you?” because they knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”
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Today marks the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Month, and that said, it's fitting that our reading for this morning captures a scene of friends gathering in a community and filling one another with hope. But unfortunately, I don't think we fully understand the importance of the word "hope." Okay, maybe we do; there's a giant sign in front of the church that spells out HOPE in all capital letters. However, even with that being the case, perhaps we pretend to understand the essence of hope or put on a facade because we don't want others to see our hopelessness. I want to think we could remedy that (that feeling of not being able to share our hopelessness/desperation)as we discover that post-resurrection disciples are still in a tender place. The exercise of care and community gets them through this difficult time. And the appearance of Jesus serves to testify to the critical fact that we are a community called to be that system of support here and now.
When I say that the disciples are in a tender place, I really mean that they are still in a desperate place. Yes, Jesus appeared to them and reassured them that things were going to be okay, but can we stop and sit for a moment with the fact that their world was still not looking all that great? Jesus making a surprise visit didn't erase the fact that Peter denied Jesus three times; it didn't magically solve the feelings of betrayal the other must have felt, and it didn't cause the feelings of "survival mode" to dissipate. Out of this sense of feeling lost or hopeless, Peter decides to go fishing, but we soon find that Peter can't even catch fish, the one thing he was supposed to be good at. Who knows what was racing through his mind and the hearts of the others who were gathered with him. This changed, though, when Jesus stood on the shore and told them to cast their nets on the other side.
Something that's sat with me this entire week and given me a lot to think about was the Soul Shop workshop I attended with one of our Deacons, MaryAnn. For those who aren't familiar, the Soul Shop workshop we attended was designed for church leaders and to train them on creating loving spaces that are safe and open to talking about suicide and raising awareness. It was shocking to hear that suicide was the 15th leading cause of death in the State of New York, with it being the 3rd leading cause of death for ages 10-24, 2nd for ages 25-35, and 7th for ages 45-54. Besides the statistics being shocking, they reveal that many of us are struggling to grasp hope like Peter and the other disciples, and we ask, "What are we doing about it?" Dr. David Litts, Special Advisor to the Surgeon General, poses this same question:
“People think about suicide for all kinds of reasons, but it basically comes down to two: A loss of hope and a loss of social connection. And if the church of Jesus Christ can’t do something about those two things, it might as well just close its doors.” (Dr. David Litts, MD, Special Advisor to the US Surgeon General)
I have to agree with Dr. Litts. If the church cannot meet these two needs, we should just close our doors because, honestly, we've lost what it means to be a church at that point. As someone who wrestled with my own mental health, I can say that the church has been a place of healing but also a place of pain inflicted by people who thought glib answers and antiquated attitudes about mental health were appropriate responses. I believe that we can be better, that we should be better, and that if we cannot work to address the hopelessness, desperation, anxiety, or social disconnection that people are feeling, what are we doing?
And that's where Jesus comes into the picture. Jesus doesn't wave his hand and makes the disciple's hopelessness vanish instantaneously. Instead, he tells them to cast their nets on the other side of the boat, bring in their haul, and sit and eat. Sometimes, all it takes is food and a good rest to make us feel better; sometimes, it takes a little more than that, but for myself, yeah, food and a nap tend to make me feel better. But then Jesus turns to Peter, who must be suffering such desperation after having betrayed Jesus, and says, "Do you love me? Then feed my sheep." Jesus asks this a few times, and Peter begins to feel hurt. "Of course, Lord, I love you," Peter says, "Then feed my sheep," says Jesus. I'd like to believe that Jesus is speaking to us as well as Peter. I imagine Jesus saying, "Do you remember that feeling of hopelessness and desperation? Do you remember how you had a community to support you and remind you of your hope? If you do, go! Go, and be that incarnational hope to others."
Spend some time today and think about three people in your life who you could talk to if you ever feel as Peter and the disciples felt. Three people who you could trust to listen. If you can't think of three, I'll say you can put my name down. As we continue on this season of Easter, we remember the importance of the hopeful power of Easter, the empathetic and caring power of Easter, and the power of Easter that lies in you and me to be agents of compassion when we see those who are in need of a reminder that there is hope in them as there is hope in us. Amen.